Do you consider yourself a creature of solitude? Cut off from people is better? Being a solitary block has its perks? Well I am sorry to break your assumptions if you agree. Relationships are important. It is your choice to agree or not but I am here to state the fact. At least I know past me would have disagreed too.
We survive as a collective. Most of the behaviors revolve around being part of the collective. To be accepted means to survive. In prehistoric time this was crucial to survival. Let us see why. Food is a collective resource so is protection. Being isolated means not able to receive food and protection. Considering the hunt and gather nature of how food was allocated it meant you may either have to macho up go hunt and try not being killed in order to eat. This macho way is not possible for everyone because hunting used to be a group activity not solitary. Now when a predator comes it is a collective effort to ward it off. You are not part of the group then you may have to face the predator alone. Well if you are confident you may but you have to consider if it is worth it.
There are some of us who prefers to be alone. It is understandable that there were situations were you were hurt probably physically but obviously emotionally as well, making interactions with others uncomfortable and insecure. You may deny or not it is the reality. Now if you are ready to face it read along. We all had a childhood. Our experiences are unique to our circumstances though are needs are similar. How we have received care has a lot to do with how we view others. Some looks down upon others. Some looks up to others. Some are scared because others appear monstrous in their subconscious. Some looks upon others with love and compassion, an attitude of belonging and caring. Now observe and find out where you stand in your perspective about the world around you.
Whatever your experiences there is one factor that needs to be considered. We all survive and even thrive as a collective. The food we eat is farmed, packaged and sold to us through multiple people. The currency notes we pay are printed by someone. The cloth you wear is made by someone. The bed you sleep is probably created by someone. We are not alone. If you feel lonely just think this roof on top of your head is most likely build by people. The food you eat is made by people and you staying safe in your house is the effort of a collective who guards and protects us. We are not alone. Even if there is no human around you there are microorganisms in and around you. You are not alone.
Well if you think are collective is only extended to humans then its a short sighted view of life. We are part of another collective, a larger one that comprises everything living and non-living and in between.
Now let us look at why relationships are important. It is ingrained in us to seek companionship for the reasons we described. However, as time goes the complexity of a basic response has grown deeper and wider. Relationship units started forming as family, community, clubs, nations and so on. A parent is a life long supporter of an offspring, well at least for most of us. It is ingrained to nurture and protect our own, we call it maternal instincts and paternal instincts. Now seeking support and help is human instinct no matter what age. Our communion has gone beyond food, shelter and protection to a sense of belonging and meaning.
Along with the complexities in the dynamics of relationships there is an opportunity to grow as a person. You understand yourself in company of others as long as your boundary is healthy. Another relationship that has evolved in us is the relationship to self, a communion with self. It is important as well. As our social network has grown complex the need to see your place in the social link is important. However, it is not about self-indulging but it is knowing our place in the system where we can contribute and how we can.
Relationship is a connection between two or more people. It is a space of growth as well. You learn about the world through relationships. You learn various perspectives through which the world can be viewed. Some may be functional and some may not be but you learn through your experience in relationship to understand how the world works.
In the next article let us look at how relationship dynamics work. This is all for today. To emphasis an attitude towards valuing relationships in life.
